Friday, August 1, 2008


... So, I am being pulled. Out of my comfort zone. Into a place that I have been before and hated. Into a place that I fight with everything in me to go into. But I KNOW that I am supposed to go. I KNOW I am being stretched. And already the tugging, the buffering has begun. And it does not feel good. I do not feel better just knowing that HE wants me here. I feel nauseous. Literally sick to my stomach. Knowing that it is a spiritual battle and that if I submit, I will come out better in the end, does not make it easy to do so. It is still difficult. It still goes against my very nature. The very nature that HE gave me, mind you.

STILL, God isn't glorified by accomplishments reached in my own strength. It is such that I cannot boast in myself, only HE gets the credit.

Oh, Amazing Grace. I'ma need it.

I fight the urge to give up. But doing so leaves me... here. Not a place I am content to stay in. No pain, no gain, I guess.

I need to humble myself and remember that it's all for Him and that I'm here to serve that purpose which HE's called me to.