It's late...

...and I'm tired.

But I am trying to stick to my commitment.

So... I have been working with this lady who is basically "coaching" me. First on being a wife and mother but then on being a pastors wife. Anyway, she has been asking me to do various writing assignments. Recently, when I was sharing with her my desire to be a stronger wife and mother and just woman in general, she asked me to write about what it is to be a strong woman. I thought I'd share this on here. Please know, I don't think I am this woman. But I aspire to be. :)

The strong woman is humble. She is aware and grateful of her strengths and gifts, but she recognizes the Source and gives credit where it is due. The strong woman is quick to lift others up, to point out the good she sees in them. She is gracious and compassionate. The words that she speaks bring forth life and blessing, and her lips are continually parted in prayer.

To her God; She is completely abandoned. Irrevocably in love. The passion and devotion she feels for her Christ is unmatched, by any other. She acknowledges Christ as the basis of her existence and the very core of her being.
To her husband; She is as devoted as one person possibly can be to another human being. The strong woman is a source of comfort, strength and honesty to her husband. She provides for him a "safe place" in which to rest. In her companionship he finds both passion and reason. She helps him remember his dreams..
To her children; She provides unconditional love. She encourages their gifts and their dreams, helps open their eyes to all the possibilities that lie within them. She is firm, but not harsh. She is gentle but not weak. She protects, but doesn't hover. She allows them to fall..and encourages them to try again. For her children, the strong woman prays without ceasing.
To her friends; She encourages personal growth and provides accountability. She is loyal and trustworthy. A strong woman mourns with those who mourn and rejoices with those who rejoice.

The strong woman recognizes that life is all about relationship. First with Christ and then with others. Her heart is to point to Christ in every way, in an effort to bring others to relationship with Him.

stitches

Hmmm... just one day after determining to blog everyday and I miss.

In my defense... Friday afternoon proved to be rather trying. After wading through some emotional chaos from aforementioned audacious people, my conversation with Nate is interrupted my bloodcurdling screams from our seven year old. All we can seem to get from her is 'Jillian!!!" Jillian!! Blood! she's bleeding!!!" Nate clears the space from the office to the kitchen and down the stairs in what seems like 4 swift moves, while I am STUCK to the floor. Sure enough...there was LOTS of blood, SQUIRTING from Jillian's forehead. I don't know why I am able to stay so calm in these types of situations, especially since I typically do not work well under pressure. But for some reason when it comes to my kids and crazy accidents, the strongest sense of reason and control takes over. Which in this case was good, cause poor Nate was pretty worked up.

Turns out she had some how managed to fall and hit her head on something, we believe it was a table, and cut it open, requiring 3 stitches.

Oh my Jillian.

My freaking out usually comes after all the drama of the event. And this time was no exception.. though not really a freak out so much as just weary, and a little angry, tears.

I used to fall apart so easily. I remember when we first learned something was going on with Jillian. I was about 15 weeks along when we were first made aware of her kidney problem. I think back to lying in bed that night and bursting into tears. I cried that deep hiccuping sob that makes my chest hurt and my lips swell up. I cried again like this after our first visit to the maternal-fetal specialist.

Something changed in me the day she was born, though. Something clicked when I looked in her eyes that first time. She and I had an understanding. WE are in this together. I recognized the need for me to be strong for her..not because she was weak, anyone who knows Jilly knows that's not true. But because she was strong. And she needed me to believe in her. And to agree that she and I would beat the hell out of any and every obstacle that stood in her way, from nursing to staff infections.

I can't crack. At least not in the midst of the chaos.

It's a position I would, and do, willingly take for all of my kids.

So that's what I was doing Saturday. Resting up from my crazy Friday night. AND throwing a baby shower.

That's my excuse.

There's always tomorrow... another chance to get it right. ;)

Writing therapy

It's been far too long since I've posted a blog.

BUT I am determined to write SOMETHING every day. Writing is like therapy for me and Lord knows I need lots of therapy.

So... in the news today:

In case you didn't know. I'm homeschooling Emma. Yes, I'm crazy. And No, I probably will NOT do it again next year. I have my reasons. But at least I can say I gave it a shot, right?

My husband is now the lead pastor of our church. He is a great pastor. He loves the people and he is honest and bold and protective of the sheep. I, admittedly, am way under qualified for the job as pastors wife. I love people but I am protective of my husband. People can be so audacious...

and thats all I'll say about that.

I've had Psalm 91 on my heart this morning. Reading that verse seems to wake up my spirit every time. It gives me peace and security, but also boldness to step out and to what God has called me to. It makes me wanna look at the enemy and say " hah! in your face LOSER!"

Ok... that's all I got for today.

Maybe tomorrow will be better. Practice makes perfect, after all.